And your voice by bits of music I sometimes find
And I wonder if I ever really knew you at all.
Some days, I think you’re a monster.
A demon that possessed me for awhile
But most of the time I just miss you.
At times like these when I’m feeling weak
I know you could have me on my knees
Begging for you to come back
Saying please, please, please
Hurt me again.
I don’t mind the pain, so long as you stay.
If I could get you to listen
If you would only give me the time of day
I would try to explain that maybe
We got lost in communication
And I was never looking for you to change a thing.
Because deep down I knew
I was a monster too
And just maybe
All I wanted was an excuse.
I guess I just figured
With all this darkness inside of me
I would rather be hurt by you.
forgetful // 365 Poetry Project #144
”..We are intimate from time to time, and he tells me he love me a lot, just not “like” that…”
For me, the best way to heal from a breakup is to accept that it’s over and even if they could come back, I always just tell myself they won’t. It’s helpful to not be friends with them on anything, and to avoid looking at their profiles. They’re going to have fun without you, they’re going to move on. And you have to do the same. I’ve noticed that talking about them all the time doesn’t help. Yes, they might have hurt you but that doesn’t mean they need to be your only focus. You have to pick up your heart and walk away. You might be broken, but that doesn’t mean you are worthless. I know that holding on to the past does nothing but hurt me. I’ve noticed I avoid certain places because that’s where we went together. And that’s not fair to me. After 2 break ups, I know how to at least take steps to moving on. I’ve accepted that it’s over, what happened happened, and I don’t beg them to stay. I’m better without them. When I miss them I think back to how sad I was and what they made me feel and I don’t miss them anymore. They fucked me over repeatedly, and I knew someday I’d find someone who loved me more than anything.
Basically what I have found helpful is to ignore them and move on with my life. Talking about it helps, but accepting it’s over helps more. Yeah, I miss him everyday but I’m better without him. And once I accepted that he was gone I felt so much better. You just have to keep your head up and accept that it is what it is.
I watched you walk away and throw every promise you made out the window like it was nothing.
I worked everyday to keep it together, I fought because you were what I wanted.
I woke up everyday proud to call you mine, excited that you, of all people, called me yours.
But now I sit here and hate myself because I loved a boy who did nothing but destroy me.
You knew how fragile i was, and you knew how hard it was for me to love myself.
You used me.
You got what you wanted, and you left.
So I’ll pick up the pieces of my heart and I’ll walk away, leaving you saying the last words.
Because I might be broken, but I’m not the one that has to live with that everyday.
I know you don’t care, but there will be a day you see me and how far I’ve went in life,
And you’ll know I’m the one who won.
You used me, you broke me, and you left. But I am stronger than you.
I’ll pick my head up and I’ll walk away, never letting you have the satisfaction of knowing that I still miss you every day.
You’re just another name on the list of people I hate.
And writing your name there is the second hardest thing I have ever had to do.
Walking away being the first.